dead inside

to show how i feel inside.
i used a lot of contrast and medium brightness and it created the perfect mood for how i feel, and for the background, it just turned out that way with the blinds that cover our sliding door.
but in all seriousness, this portrays a feeling of emptiness i have, being gay and not having come out yet. and the depression that comes with that. its a feeling that others could relate to. its a feeling of hoplessness and despair, confusion and anger, fear and self-hate. the black lines kind of represent that, and perhaps it could also represent my cutting, with the white side representing pure happiness, which i cant seem to achieve.

its really hard to paint this feeling, so i just decided to take a picture with dramatic effects.

now, this isnt a complaint or anything. its just how it is, just how i feel. so dont attack me with the thought that i'm just a whining teenager. depression and cutting is real.. and scary. i dont encourage this behaviour, im trying to get out of it. and art is self-expression, so here i just want to express this feeling.